Agent Orange/Dioxin – The endless pain

Now, at her age of over 80, with skinny shape, Ms. Dinh still has to stay strong as she still has to raise her three mental-disorder children. Ms. Nuc is also as small and frail as Ms. Dinh. After giving birth 15 times, she had to dig 12 graves with her husband to bury her 12 children… These are two typical cases of Agent Orange/Dioxin contamination in Vietnam.

They are mothers and wives who have never exposed to chemical poisons on the battlefield. Even, many of them were born in the post-war era. However, they both experienced the same pain when they saw their unhealthy children born.

Ms dinh

Badly beaten up by her own children

The fourth-grade little house where Ms. Dinh Thi Dinh lives with her children is located in the middle of hamlet 6, Thi Son commune, Kim Bang district, Ha Nam province. Hearing our call, a man ran out, jumped around and clapped his hands like a child: \"Guest! guest !\". As soon as the bamboo gate was opened, he quickly ran out to the alley. He is Nguyen Van Binh, one of Dinh’s five children with her late husband.

Ms. Dinh gave birth to Hoa, Binh, Thuy, Mai, and Mai. All of them were born healthy and plump, but when they turned 4 and 5 years old, they all became stubborn and enjoyed breaking things. When they reached school age, they all went to school, but only Thuy could read and write. Until now, Binh laughs innocently all day. He calls everyone \"uncle\". Hoa, Mai, and Mai like rolling around and playing with things they pick on the ground.

The older they got, the crazier they became. In 2000, there was a free health check for beneficiary families, and Dinh\'s husband took his five children to the district hospital for examination. Out of the five children, Hoa died a few years after the medical check. In 2011, her husband also died of a lung cancer, leaving her with three mentally ill children.

There was a musty smell in the kitchen. As soon as she opened the kitchen door, Ms. Dinh shouted \"Oh my God\" and used all her strength to drag her daughter out in the rain to put out the fire on her clothes. Mai smiled and walked into the room, holding a bowl of popcorn, without paying attention to anyone around. Every time she was free from her mother’s watching eyes, she poured everything into the roasting stove, and roasted until they got burned. She just ate a few seeds and hid them under the bed. Ms. Dinh had to wait for Mai to sleep before taking the burnt seeds away. For a few times, Mai pretended to be asleep and then shoved her heels into her mother\'s bent back.

Normally, Mai only plays with two dogs. When getting bored, she sits in the corner, stroking her hair and picks the dropped one to put in a plastic bag. When she has a seizure, Mai runs out to the road, beating everyone she meets. Sometimes, Mai collected and put a pile of broken bricks at the alley, with which she would throw at passer-by.

There was times when Ms. Dinh took her children to the well for a bath and was strangled and drowned in the water basin. She said, at first, I was scared when being beaten by them. I almost died a few times, but then I got used to it. If I don\'t take care of them, who will? Ms. Dinh cleared her tears and looked at the crazy children worryingly: \"One day when I die, how will they live?\"

Being named \"child-killer\" unwantedly

On a hilly garden with white sand near their house (Vo Ninh commune, Quang Ninh district, Quang Binh province), Ms. Pham Thi Nuc and Mr. Do Duc Diu built a small family cemetery with 12 graves, all of which were of their children.

Not long after they got married, Mr. Diu joined the army. In 1975, he returned to his hometown after war. After that Ms. Nuc was pregnant and gave birth 15 times, but she had to dig graves 12 times with her husband to bury their ill-fated children. Among those 12 children, some were born deformity and died at birth; some died even when they can talk and walk.

For many years, Nuc cried without tears, thought and tormented her body. The less-than-30kg lady has suffered many bad words from people in the area about the death of her children.

Ms. Nuc said: “Sometimes I felt so depressed and wanted to give everything up. I even told my husband to marry another woman\". There are months that she celebrated the death anniversary of her three children. When they couldn’t afford to build a cemetery wall and graves for their children, sometimes the sand flew away, she and her husband had to search for traces of their 12 children.

Then, after 12 times burying her children in the sand, God also let her three daughters live to this day. Among them, one has cognitive disabilities, one has physical disability, and one is temporarily healthy. Their 13^th daughter had chance to get married. But the disgusting Agent Orange still affects their grand-daughter.

Do Thi Hang - their fourteenth child - has shaky limbs, difficulty walking, and a slightly deformed face. Ms. Nuc and Mr. Diu once left Hang at the hospital for the society because of their mental exhaustion. Mr. Diu had already left the hospital with his backpack when his tormented thought brought him back to his daughter.

A group of US veterans feeling regretful with their murderous past in Vietnam volunteered to come to their house to find ways to save Hang. After many surgeries, Hang was able to live until today.

Despite her \"intellectual health\", sometimes Hang still hums like a child. Although Ms. Nuc wanted to keep Hang by her side, in the end, she decided to send Hang to the Friendship Village in Hanoi so that she can study and play with her friends.

As her 12 young children lies in the garden, Ms. Nuc has to keep a book of the graves. In the house, her children and grandchildren scream and smash altogether. Even the most normal child does not have a healthy life. For a long time, Ms. Nuc has been unable to cry. The heart of a mother and a grandmother is getting more and more sorrow every day.